Schmerzen

I can feel the pain. The agony. The hurt. Got reminded of the past. The bad experiences. This is no one's fault. I just linked things and resulted in memories being retrieved from the depth of my mind. I need to sort out these thoughts. Sometimes, i hate being a logical person using my left side of the brain, which makes me a "thinker". Worrying about things that may or may not happen. I blame myself for not being good enough. Lacked of confidence which pulled me down. Where is my old self? The one always ready to trust, always able to accept challenges and not afraid to face the world. Humanity.. Crap.. I guess no matter how hard i try, i am never good enough? That is why things always ended up this way for me? In the past i felt that i am always not being appreciated for everything. Lies, betrayal and more lies. Lies always get out of hand as the liar will always add on new lies to cover up for the previous. Just like a snowball. It just got bigger and rolling downwards faster. I think too much. All these are the past.. I should believe more in the future. Why am i being so negative all of a sudden? Complicated....... Like what i said, i am just being emo. It has nothing to do with anyone but my past. Till then...