After a swim felt so much better. Cleared my thoughts. Should i go mambo tonight? Doubt so i guess.. Kinda tired.

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

Indeed, i am enslaved only if i allow myself to. I actually dislike restrictions. Dislike being tie down by one. I do not like someone to tell me i cant do this or that. I cant go this place, i cant meet this person. I am not those you can flip me around easily. But i am willing to bow down to the correct person wholeheartedly, forgetting and ignoring that i am actually the opposite. Contradicting? Maybe that person is my satan. Just like i actually shut down and restricted my ownself for the past 4 years. But look at me now, how different am i? Someone tame me will you? I am tired of walking alone..

I am hungry.. I refuse to budge to my food temptation. Send my resume to different banks already. Awaiting for replies. Hope i can get into a good pay job. Then i can buy a car within 6 months of work with some savings. Can drive to school for my night classes too. Everything is moving very smoothly for me till now. So i should expect some hipcups somewhere.

One thing that i am upset about is i got to postpone my trip due to my timetable. I cant afford to miss 4 days of class every week. Especially is the same subject. If not i wont be able to catch up and take my exam. There goes my itinerary. Wasted so much time researching and asking around. Waste my money too. Anyone needs a detailed plan for vietnam can approach me. =)

Faith. Abandon the past, look to the future. I know i will have my place somewhere.