Desfeito

Just came home from a movie again.. Been watching lots of show recently. Out with mich to ehub. Been meeting her so often that it seems like a routine. This time round was "the strangers". Is just a cheap production with plain brutal killings and torturings. Waste time to watch it. I wanna watch hancock and chi bi. Anyone wanna ask me to tag along or ask me out?

I drank at home as i am feeling... I cant describe it. Almost.. I almost.. Control. Control! Control!! Kinda tipsy now. Might not know what i am typing. But i will edit it tomorrow after i reach home. Hope i dont type something funny though. P.s: I am still awake and know what am i doing. =)

I seriously think my blog is very exposed. Of course i am glad my friends bother to read up about my life. But there are even unknown people reading it. Thinking of making it private or change the blog address. Any suggestions? Or is there anyone interested to continue reading? Let me know so maybe i can send you an invite if i ever make this private.

My eyes are closing on me now.

I got a decision to make. Should i or should i not? If i ever make this decision, i cant turn back or perhaps is i wont want to. My mind is in a mess!!

Someone told me this. "You seems like an angel whom my late grandma sent to me". I was quite shocked and surprised hearing this. Been such a long time since i felt being appreciated. Actually got praised and felt wanted. I never or seldom experience this in the past. Know how i felt? Imagine a lonely child whom always try hard and constantly wanna recognition. But always receive nothing but biased treatment. Suddenly someone pat him on his back and being the only one recognising his good points. The emotional roller coaster inside of me just went havoc. I yearn for someone to understand and realise everything i did, came right from my heart with no other motives. Someone who dont view me with "coloured specs".

To be updated..

Continuing

Just read through what i type yesterday. Lucky for me that i did not make a fool out of myself.

Thanks ting. Thanks for listening to me yesterday in the middle of the night! Really thanks for the call. Thanks for willing to stand by me. Thanks for everything.

I dont even know when and how i fell asleep. But woke up late for camp. But they dont really care anymore cause i going to ORD. Today is my last day till my official ORD date. My next and last book in will be on the 18th of july. Offs and leaves till ORD! I did not expect that. Guess they are trying to reward me? =)

Sometimes i hate myself for being sentimental. I think that friends always have a distance physically and of course mentally. Call me conservative if you guys like. But at least by being conservative, i dont cheat.

I guessed recently i fell into a state of confusion. After the last message today, i finally woke up. Before that i told myself that maybe one last try to spend a bit more time to listen and see how things goes. Maybe can use a night to listen. But i got disappointed. Ok, is just about myself setting the rules inside my mind. Not going = i give up. That is what i thought of before getting the reply. Kinda tired with the mind games. So ya, things just got clearer for me. Stop those illusions and weird dreams. I dont wanna care anymore. Enough said. I going out party now!

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
是你先放开我的手
已经没有勇气再牵起你的手
心碎成了沙漠
面对你的时候
我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客