My sins

I know myself. Sometimes i do hate it. I knew i shouldn't. Yea... I knew but yet.......

I am full of sins. You don't know me. You don't know how much i had sinned. My closest friends knew. Is not real bad. But is still sinful of me. I can't help it.. Why.... For a long time, i been asking myself why am i doing this. Why can't i stop it. Why.. Is that really so important to me that i cannot give it up? Inside of me, there are always 1001 whys. I can never explain it. Deep down, i don't wanna be this way. I don't want to find excuses for myself. I hate lies. I hate dishonesty. Absolutely pointless. Tell me what is the meaning of life? I am not having suicidal thoughts. That is an immature behaviour.

Tell me... Am i that bad?
Tell me... Am i a good friend?
Tell me... What do you think of me?
Tell me.....
I need many answers..
I am just avoiding.
I can't face it.
I cant even face myself.
So tell me now, what can i do?