Narodeniny

Happy birthday to me~ Happy birthday to me~ Happy birthday to Alan~ Happy birthday to me~

23 years old! Holy.. This is crap.. I am getting old. Birthday is just another day. Went DblO yesterday for a small celebration. The crowd was alright. Did not consume a lot of alcohol as i pass drinks to liting! Lol.. So ended up she is kinda dizzy. Dont really wanna get drunk as i am afraid i cant support and control my recovering leg. If i suffer injury at this moment, i guess my doctor will be busy with the repairing again. =) Left earlier as some of my friends wanna go back. So ended up liting and i went for supper near our house. Prata.. Sat there for 1 hour plus, and off we go. Reached home around 5am plus 6. Was quite pissed off at an incident but i misunderstood it at certain point. So yea, forget about it. =)

Went for seoul garden dinner today. Food was ok only.. As usual, i ate fish more than any other meat. I just like the fish so much. Salmon sushi there tasted like non salmon. Not very fresh though. Same for the prawns. But overall still alright. Bought sweets and jelly from the shop near the foodcourt. After that search around for chocolates. Thanks for being the first to wish me happy birthday. Lol.. Although is like you dont really have a choice? =)

Conflict of thoughts.. Arrgg...

Starting bridging tomorrow, on my birthday itself. Wondering how is the class gonna be like. As in the teachings.. Shall accept whatever is given to me. Lets work hard together!

Thanks for those who wish me happy birthday! Appreciated it a lot. Especially ning for your one sentence birthday song. Lol.. =)

Feelings i have is like the blazing sun scotching the land. Thoughts of mine seems to be in-line with the ocean, causing waves that can easily topple a building. Without my smile, will the convalescent world be a better place? My oh my.. How diminutive am i? I wish a mirror can reflect the true me. How many people out there can accept an undistorted facts of who am i really is? Buzz me! =)

Bucurie

Not been blogging for few days.. Let me see.. Updates...

Wed went out with shalene for a while.. After that went sengkang to collect notes from joanna.. Been months since i last took a bus. So i insisted on taking one. Kinda stress.. Got to stand for the whole journey. No one shows me any sympathy yea... A handicap nice person here but no one offer their seat to me.. Tsk.. Lol.. Met her, took the notes and surprisingly, got a gift too! Thanks ya joanna! =) After that went compass point.. But then my goal to there is not being satisfy. After that realised that i dropped my 100 bucks in my pocket. Guess i should not be lazy and insisted not bringing my wallet. A lesson to me.

Thurs was nothing much.. Met stan, jes and jiahui for dinner. Their treat for my birthday. Crabs! =) But sad to say, i got food poisoning after that.. -_- Jiahui went macau on the same day midnight. So before that, we went derren house for a mahjong session. Played till slightly over 6 then go home. Stan came my house. But i woke him up half way to go see doc. Haha.. Stomach pain! But at least i am feeling better now.

Fri which is yesterday, is the most anticipating day of the week. Finally met miss chen after a week. She is gonna be busy for the next whole month too.. So wont meet up that often. Met her in the afternoon after she finished school. Had a wonderful afternoon. =) Went to watch Step Up 2. Is really a very nice show. Awesome and creative dance moves. I can only envy them. The salsa was nice.. Sexy and wildness. Lol.. I like their final dance in the rain. One word to describe. MARVELOUS! Saw her friend mr jeff. Haha.. Inside joke..

Dinner was at cafe cartel. Pork chop! I am really not hungry alright! Just tempted to eat that. Thanks for the treat! Appreciate it a lot. =) Heard her story of drunkness during the dinner. Haha.. Some are simply hilarious! Michelle called and asked me to meet her a while outside of cartel. So i went out and she in turn wanna follow me back into the cafe just to say hi. How lame.. Lol..

Mac was the next stop to wait for stan and his friend. Sat down and started taking pictures. Lol.. The whole day she must be feeling irritated by me! *Proud* =D But.... I only took pictures. She took videos! Haha.. Smart.. Stan arrived shortly and i send her home first before meeting stan they all for ktv.. On my way back, the cab driver was talking about girls with me. Telling me his stories and past experiences. Lol.. Saying how many pretty girls he had.. But then i shut him out when i said i only want one is enough. =) After that he started talking about food. Then roads in singapore.. Maybe he is too bored? Or i am just too adorable? Oh man.. Haha..

Tonight DblO. Feel free to join me if you guys want. I not going to club for some time after today. Not been clubbing for a long time already. Dont prefer club nowadays.. See you there. =)

Thanks for yesterday.. Nice and great! =p

Till then...

Alma

Sometimes it feels no one understands

I dont even know why i do the things i do

When pride builds me up till i cant see my soul

Will you, break down these walls and pull me through...

Estranho

Counting down. Another 12 hours and i will be a free man! I dont need to hop like a frog anymore! I guess this is what it means by qing wa bian wang zi! LOL!! Wahahaha... Ok ignore that sentence. =)

This will be a short post. Dont really know what to blog about. My birthday is coming. But to be frank, i am not really into celebration. The mood is not there. And what is there to celebrate when i already pass 21? Shall see how it goes..

Looking up at the beautiful night sky, stars shining brightly. But why am i not appreciating it and instead feeling confused? Life is nothing but a speck of dust. Before we can understand it, our time is up. All of a sudden, i miss field camps when i was on course. Maybe is the bonds we shared. Let me restore my confidence first.. Tomorrow, i wanna go play basketball. =)

Simplicity is the best. I just want to be who i am. I wanna learn to appreciate every single thing around me. Do the most boring and most exciting stuff. How extreme can i get? Maybe i am a complicated person yearning for an incomplex life. Or maybe i dont even know myself.. Till then...

Schmerzen

I can feel the pain. The agony. The hurt. Got reminded of the past. The bad experiences. This is no one's fault. I just linked things and resulted in memories being retrieved from the depth of my mind. I need to sort out these thoughts. Sometimes, i hate being a logical person using my left side of the brain, which makes me a "thinker". Worrying about things that may or may not happen. I blame myself for not being good enough. Lacked of confidence which pulled me down. Where is my old self? The one always ready to trust, always able to accept challenges and not afraid to face the world. Humanity.. Crap.. I guess no matter how hard i try, i am never good enough? That is why things always ended up this way for me? In the past i felt that i am always not being appreciated for everything. Lies, betrayal and more lies. Lies always get out of hand as the liar will always add on new lies to cover up for the previous. Just like a snowball. It just got bigger and rolling downwards faster. I think too much. All these are the past.. I should believe more in the future. Why am i being so negative all of a sudden? Complicated....... Like what i said, i am just being emo. It has nothing to do with anyone but my past. Till then...

Tilfreds

Crows Zero

This is the show i have been waiting for. The storyline is not that fantastic. But the hellacious fighting scenes are worth watching! Just by looking at the dynamite entry of the main character, you will be in awe of his charms. His remarkable fighting ability and strong urge to unite the school of hooligans, created a strong focus on the yakuzas which refer to the japanese gangsters. Oh, mentioning about yakuza, i just remember that there is a book i wanna get since ages ago. But i just keep forgetting. Yakuza's Moon by Shoko Tendo. This book is a chronicle of a yakuza's daughter. The sadness and sorrows she suffered which lead her to a path of crimes, tattoo, rapes and drugs. Is a real life story based on her true experience. Shall get it after i recover! =)

Went for teppanyaki after the show. Not really delicious as the chef is the young guy who is condemned by stan and me since long ago. Till now, he only improved by a little. Not as tasty as other chefs. Just our luck to be on his table. Hmmm...

Starbucks again! Pathetic.. I am not going for anymore starbucks after i can start limping! Stan came my house as we have nothing to do. He asked me to join him for mahjong at sengkang. I rejected as i am kinda lazy to go out again. He went off after a short while to meet chris.

Should i celebrate my birthday or not? If yes, what to do? Club, pub, board game or somewhere to slack? Hmmm... Dont wanna do any brainstorming now. Leave it to tomorrow. I will be back.. Till then...

Minune

As expected, today was great. Wish that time could stop at that moment. Definitely one of the best night i ever had. Simple yet heart warming. I dont need a wow life to give me happiness, neither do i need someone to go through lots of trouble to make me feel good. I appreciate things as it is. Thanks.. It is never been easy for me all these while. I was living in the past. But somehow, you have brought me back. I wanna make things right, that is the way. Bet on me cause i am the type of guy who means what i said. Sometimes life just dont seems right. Look back. You will see someone there. Here i am, standing right at the back, providing you a shelter when you need to rest.

Skipped mahjong today. Not really in the mood for it.

To be exact, 3 more days to off cast! 9 more days to my bridging course! Sick.. Bridging course start on my birthday itself. Guess i shall spend my birthday alone this year? Anyway, it is just another day. Without celebration, still the same. Makes no difference.

Stanley low! Meet up with me more before your taiwan trip! I giving you more time to spend with blackie now. So you better fork out time for me too! =D

Amanda ho. Stop browsing and expect long stories to keep you entertained. Make some contributions too! Lol..

Last but not least, thanks for tonight.

Till then....

Ganiti

Sorry that you have to turn back. Guilty for it.. Let me make up for it ya. Sometimes little things and gestures can make me feel so touched..

Postponing your tuition today makes me feel bad too.. But i am glad that you make this effort to after what i said in my message. Sweet! =D

SIM SIM SIM! UOL UOL UOL! Bless me!

All i wanna do is find a way back into love.. Show me what to do..

Nimic

Time pass real quick today. I only remember i was watching jessica alba's version of the eye and started playing viwawa. Ok i know i am lame.. But then..... I am absolutely tied down by boredom. Recently got a more concrete idea of life.

Oh man! I just got a reply from SIM! I got accepted! But the thing is... There is a need to go through two rounds of selection. One from SIM and another from UOL. Please.. UOL please accept me!! I will work hard! Bridging course starting on the 31st march! My birthday! Fortunately i am in time to walk. Great. God please bless me..

In a relationship, is it a must to have two identical personalities? I doubt so.. Success dont guaranteed this way.. There is no fixed road in this world. We need to pave our way through obstacles. Be brave and look far. Future is in our own hands..

Fericit

Glad she could make it today.. But at the same time felt bad to troubled her all the way here.. Guilty conscious. Although a little awkward, the whole situation is still very much under control? Lol.. Just got to get used to it.. I desire more of this to come..

Yesterday was nothing much. Ktv again.. Sing.. But suddenly my mind gone blank. I cant even think of a single song. But slowly things improved. Drink, drank, but not drunk. Lol.. Although i puke after i reach my house. Guess is just my stomach feeling upset. Today was kind of the same. No appetite. Went to eat frog porridge after K. Been craving for it since ages ago. Finally...

Thanks for accompanying me today. Ah wang and yi wu ban ting yi shui gan. Lol.. Guess we still owe each other something? =)

Todellisuus

Yesterday was nice.. Went out with shalene for a show in the afternoon. The water horse... Is a facinating story as people talk about the loch nest monster. The alluring scenery and captivating acting skills by the young boy, brings the show to a whole new level. Is there really a loch nest monster? It was said that the monster is actually a dinosaur from the ancient time. The loch ness monster, also called Nessie is believed to be a creature or a group of them living in the fresh water of loch ness in northen Scotland. Scientist believed it to be a hoax but sometimes you never know.. Just like bigfoot.. There are actually quite a number of unknown creatures or monsters that cant be explained using logical scienticfic measures. But whatever it is, i guess i have no ways of finding out unless i am able to experience it.

Starbucks next. I drinking too much coffee recently.. Starbucks is like my second home.. Lol.. No choice.. Got to sit down..

After that was dinner at sakae. The splendid service they provided deserve my applause. I was given a seat while waiting for our turn due to my handicap status.. -_- Is kinda nice but embarrassing at the same time. But the who cares? I just sit down and enjoy myself while looking at others standing. =)

Went to arcade to play mario karts! Been a long time.. I did not bring my card along.. Cant use my items.. Haha.. I came in first for all the competitions! Short of one leg yet i can still race. How cool is that? Actually the main purpose of going to the arcade is because i needed somewhere to sit while waiting for another show to start! Cant stand for long on one leg.. Lol..

We decided to watch 10000BC as i keep nagging about it. LOL... Hey! But it turned out to be an awesome show alright! I love this kind of war movie with all the magnificent scenes!

I wanna watch crows zero next! Anyone? =) Till then...

Dobry

Yesterday night was cool. Went esplanade after being psycho by my friend just to watch Olivia Ong's live performance. If i am not mistaken, this is the first time she is singing live in singapore. Her vocal is so mesmerising. You just cant stop wanting more. Is like so pure and clear. Seldom notice from other singers. Especially, she is a singaporean who started her career in japan. Everything is definitely not an easy feat for her.

Decided on summer breeze again. Sitting down chatting, drinking and slacking while enjoying the sea breeze. How much more can one ask for? I wanna go back there more often! Thanks for the ride home ya! Dont forget the 11am-7pm singing next week! Lol..

Alright.. Time to go bathe. Catching a show later on. So.. Till then.. =)

Wollen

Ok, Now is the time to present my new mobile phone! Motorola Razr V9!! Credits to connie tan for accompanying me!















Ok i cant and am lazy to find more pictures.. This is it. =) Thought of getting LG Viewty but my sis already got it. So i see no point in getting the same. Haha.. I kinda like my phone only that the functions are a bit screwed up? Or is it because i am lazy to read the instruction manual? Hmmm.. But is kinda cool.. Although i type message is more tedious and easily send half-done sms out.. -_- So please do pardon me for the time being. I promise to get a hang of it soon enough! It will be like child's play to me!

Glad that i am starting to convert back to normal life. These 2 days i slept way early man.. Tuesday fell asleep after i reach home around 9pm plus. Yesterday slept at 10pm? But the timing i woke up to is like army schedule. Before ORD i guess i have to do a civilian conversion course! There are so many things i want to do currently. Been looking up at community services. Joanna you are my buddy for that right? =) Wanna learn tennis and squash too. Joanna, you are my partner again....... Ok i know. You will ask me to wait cause NUS is so busy currently. Hold on till my leg recover then.

Anyone interested in overseas holiday? I wanna go latest in may if possible. Went phuket that time. I dont mind redang, bali or shopping trips like bangkok and taiwan. Ok put this aside.

Indescribable feelings.. Affections.. Maybe i think too much.. Never mind.. Not to bother about that though.

I still watching surviviors. Dont used to like that. But now i realise actually it is not so bad after all. You can witness how people plot against one another. Lies and betrayals. Human nature?

On a side note, JB trip. Any takers? Haha.. Whatever.. Too many ideas. Not realistic. Till then..

Vertrekken

14 more days. Removal of cast on the 25th of march which is 6 days before my birthday! Got to start from scratch again, like a new born, walking can prove to be fatal. Hoping that by the 29th i can walk normally. I knew what i should know just that the identity is a mystery. Sooner or later will be out. But whatever it is. None of my business anymore. No point bothering about one who will never appreciate. I have better things to do than to waste my time on this. When the truth is out, no doubt i will be hurt. But as time goes by, i will be stronger. I been through this before.

Macdonald delievery boy is here! =) Macnuggets and Macflurry!

Got to switch my body clock back. Too screwed up currently with all the late nights till afternoon. I cant sleep at all. Even if i manage to, i will wake up in the middle of the night feeling hollow and disturbed. In this god forsaken land of my own, nothing is alive. I embarked on a journey through the darkness. At the end of the tunnel, will there be light? I think i wanna go visit a dentist real soon. Been such a long time since i last visited one.

Brand new day, all the best to everyone! And mr teo honwei, you better meet me when you are back in singapore. Stop thinking of being a gay! If you really want........................................ Take me with you!! LOL!! Till then...

Fortuito

Went to sleep at 8pm and thought i can sleep through the night.. But i was so wrong.. Woke up at 4am, unable to carry on, i decided to go online..

Have anyone wonder when will us humans or the earth perish? Look around.. Pollution, wastage, industrialise, worsen natural disasters, changing climate. Since when singapore start having the flooding situation so often? Tornados being able to observed nearby? Earthquake chains that shook us like the actual one? The end of world that is recorded in the bible seems like it is on the way to reality. Not to say i believe totally on it, but just look at our current situation. Ice at both north and south pole are melting. When the world start flooding, do you think you can live? That is a no. Because in order for the ice to fully melt, the temperature must be very high. Even if you can survive the flood, the blazing sun will scorch the earth leaving it a dead barren. Sometimes it is like so compelling to keep reading about our world and the galaxies. There are thousands and thousands of galaxies and milky way is just one of it. So, actually earth is just so tiny. It is said that a black hole exists in the center of all the galaxies. Day by day, everything is being devour by an immense amount of suction. That is the theory of big bang, the big explosion. Whatever, enough of this foolishness of mine. Haha..

There are always people coming in and out of your life. I am glad i met you, chen zhenwen! You are so sweet.. Haha.. Ok, lets not be formal.. I wanna eat that grilled fish too! Guess i shall pop by NIE some time! Lol.. One more hour to your lesson!! Test tomorrow! Good luck! =)

I wanna change phone! Motorola Razr V9! Shall go get it later if i have accompany. Lol.. Alright then.. Till the next blogging session.. =)

Volgend

Been ages since i last went summer breeze. Yesterday was great.. Chilling out, celebrating my buddy's birthday. Adapting to the freedom i received, realising it is not so bad after all. Pain is and will always be temporary. As time flies, it diminshes into nothing more than a flick of whip. Dying is merely a matter of forms, but it takes true courage to live on. Life is never fair, you can blame your own destiny or alternately choose to strive for the next breath that you gonna take in. Everyone is of equal entity under god. Who are we to judge others? Is time to cut those bonds..

Thanks CUB.. You are being nice. The comforts and encouragement you gave, will be deeply appreciated..

Time flies.. Seconday school days were like yesterday. Poly life seems to disappeared a few minutes ago. I know in the process of growing up, i will lose some friends. But those who stayed behind, truely deserved my loyalty. True friends are those, even if we seldom meet up, seldom chat or even sms, but the feelings will be there forever. No matter how far apart we are, the gap will never widen. I am glad i have so many around me.. Understand me yet do not interfere with my life.. Thanks for all who love me.

Craving for salmon.. Anyone? Dim sum will be fine too.. Haha..

I like the way this girl sings.. Enjoy.. =)

De novo

Redundant blogs are the past. Right now right here, this shall be the place for my rantings. A chronicle record of events.. Moving on is what i need. These few months, my mind and soul were badly wounded. Everything from the past came back to haunt me. As if urging me never to give up. Facts were distorted, lies were made, sympathy was not given to me. Unable to explain, i gave up trying. When the moon rises, darkness befall me, the chilling stares from the stars gave me a sense of loneliness.. I realised, talking to you is just like reaching for the stars. They are so far and never replies.. Awared of the current situation, i surrendered myself to the dominant dictator called "fate".. Continuing my search for "the one" after 4 years, this path i shall walk alone.

In some sense, indeed i am running away. Not to deny the hurt that is left inside of me. Lovers to friends.. That is not possible at least to my current acknowledgement. Unwillingly i left, not because i have a change of heart, but because i respected her decision. To be frank, for so long, i felt neglected and like what i told her, "i am always the last in your list". But it is the heart that tells me to carry on, to make more effort. Just like a used toy, when i am no longer needed, i shall be placed with the garbage. High on drinks everyday since that fateful day, hoping to sleep well at night with the influence of alcohol. Realising everything i did is futile, why should i behave in this manner? Letting go is the only option. This is the best way out for me. I want to love and to be loved.

Another 4 months and 12 days, and i will finish serving my country. My time is up. Next will be back to study again.

Success, a word that is engraved within me. I might not be rich right now, without car and house, but i believe with determination and hardwork, one day, i will rise above the rest and fly high into the atmosphere. Watch me grow and i shall prove!

Up above, into the sky, let me take notice of the ever changing world.. Once again, i shall see what the future holds for me..