Wrong, everything is so wrong.

What can i say about my saturday.. Should i say fun or should i say something is wrong.. Perhaps perhaps i am really wrong.. Hold me back. I need a strong grip. Control me. "Dont you ever fall Alan! Dont you! Leave the evil realm while you can.." I am like living in a sphere. Limited yet trying to break free. I am speechless.. I got many why(s) that i cant explain. I have my dark side. But i am really trying hard.. You wont wanna know what you dont wanna know.

Every sunday is like my resting day. Other than church, i got nothing on. My schedule is totally packed. My time past so fast each week that i have difficulties catching my journey. I am being dragged by my life along the pathway of no return. I can feel my vitality being zap away bit by bit. I feel old. Whenever i quicken my pace, time move even more rapidly. Are we waiting for our time to be up? Is that how we are going to conclude our expedition?

Fantasies.. Dreams.. Illusions.. Too many to handle. Too much for me. I need a breather. I need a break. I need a getaway trip.

I took leave on this 30th sept for my sister's graduation ceremony. But i got to go back office in the morning to finish up some work. I cant even rest on leave day. At night having class. But am glad that wed is a public holiday. I felt so drained... Sometimes i dont wanna appear to be so strong. I want to be able to fall back too. Someone to confide in. Someone who will tell me that i will be ok. Someone to accompany me. Someone to give me the moral support i needed. Someone that i am willing to strive hard for. Someone i can dote on. Someone.. That someone...

I am shutting down. Right now.... Night..

By the way, please do take a look at this blogshop. They got nice items to shop for. =)
http://pink-amour.blogspot.com/

Wonderful wonderful wonderful!

I was trying to entertain everyone alright. Dont be so mean... Lol..

Ok, i did a very lame thing by sending emails to those involved for this upcoming chalet. Haha..

Mei said: "Ok ok i have 2 things to tell you. First, =) the smile of mine that you want. Second, dammmm for attaching your photo."

Anna said: "Your photo is scary."

Joce said: "Hey that attachment is LAME!!"

Ernest Said: "HI OMGIMSOAHPPY TO RECIVE THIS INVITAION IM BE THER4 U MR ALANA ZHEONGGGGG. OMGWARD UR PICKTURE MAKEES MI HAWWWWNEEEEEEEEEEE." Ok i think what he trying to say is: "Hi omg i am so happy to receive this invitation. I am going to be there for you Mr Alan Zheng. Omg, your picture makes me horny." Lol.. Damn funny. Still the same. Always crap around. Ok let me clarify, his typing is on purpose. Haha..

Too stressed at work. So got to find victims for some disturbing sessions. =)

One good news, i am being offered a bank contract from my regional manager only after one month of work! I heard from my other colleagues they took at least 3-4 months to be offered the contract. I am proud of myself! Tomorrow morning going down the HR side at millenia tower for an interview. Everything is moving smoothly. I am glad with my progress this far.

I am so looking forward to the chalet. A major gathering ya! Come lets party! Love you guys! =)

Sleepless night

Time like this always set the background for emotional roller coaster. I cant describe how i felt regardless of the flow of thoughts. Buried myself with work. Hoping that nothing exist at all. Been wanting to release myself. Realising the fact that is hard. A wrong move perhaps. Maybe i am really asking for it. Yes, i need my space. I need to heal. Even after so long... Is my regeneration inactive? Indeed it is true. Sometimes the feelings never really go away. I just got to learn to live with it. Oh comon, this is life. Just let me indulge in the pleasure of sorrows.

Market almost crashes if not for the intervene of federal government. Everyday is like hell busy. Funds are injected twice using federal reserve. After rescuing Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, now is AIG's turn. The reluctancy to save Lehman Brothers might just serve as a warning to fellow investment banks. The lack of control by central bank, shows asymmetric of regulations. Current market situation just add on to my already hectic workload. Merrill Lynch sold their business to Bank of America while they are still worth the amount. Lacked of liquidity resulting in the funds being dislocated. Barclays bought over some assets of Lehman Brothers. How interesting. After taking up my degree in banking and finance, and of course the experience i received while working in the bank's investment side, all these just excite me. I am learning everyday. Absorbing everything that i manage to dig out. Asking anything that comes to my mind. Knowledges, experiences and a certification. Good luck for my future. =)

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes just be an illusion.....

In love

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

Time and Love

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.
Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by.
Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness.
Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.

Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way.

Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Juno's

Lunch at home again.

"I am losing faith in humanity... I guess i wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good?"

"You mean like couples?"

"Yeah, like people in love... I just need to know if it is possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years."

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That is the kind of person that is worth sticking with."

"How true, Juno, how true..."

Mundane

Work, work, work, work and work. OT every single day. Stress when i am rushing for time. Hectic when everyone is running around to handle different countries investments. Great, Taiwan is given to me from this week onwards. From Indonesia, to China, then Singapore. Now plus Taiwan. Heavy workload. Idiotic derrick told me, "welcome to our world". Yea, entering into their forbidden zone.

Too tired from work to update on my Zouk and DblO nights. Clubbing.. I am getting so sick of it. I want to break free from this vicious cycle. Have not been to the cinema for nearly a month. Life-less creature. Work, school, nightlife. Semester one is ending soon. Straight away semester two will begin. Took leave on 30th sept.

I need an overseas trip. Even just genting will be nice too. Night..